GOLDEN RULES FOR SECOND MARRIAGE.


    1. The process of getting a divorce is a very stressful experience. A person who has undergone it is likely to carry emotional baggage within him/her. It is important that your past does not interfere with your present and future happiness. And hence, ensure that your past wounds are healed completely before getting into marital bliss again.
    2. Don't repeat your past mistakes. Learn from your previous relationship and let that learning make you wiser. Have a courtship period with the person you are going to marry and get to know him/her. Learn how compatible you both are and how much he/she values you. It is necessary that both the persons love, care and trust each other. Even if you both think differently, but have respect for each other's choices and are willing to adjust for your partner, you know you have made the right choice.
    3. Now comes the problem of your relationship with your former spouse. Suppose you decide that you want to keep in touch with him/her just for the sake of pure friendship. Even if you have spoken to your partner about this and he/she is willing to give you that freedom, emotional support and show trust in you, there are chances that he/she may feel insecure in future. What do you do in such a situation? You must realise that the wisest thing to do is not to spoil the present relationship because of your attachment to the past one. Make the most of what you have at present.
    4. If you have a child from your previous wedlock, then it is important to discuss this with your current life partner, irrespective whether you have the child's custody or not. Your new spouse should also have some emotional attachment towards your child. This feeling should not abate when you two decide to start a family. Your child from previous wedlock needs to feel accepted, wanted and taken care of by you and your partner. Help your child nourish his/her mental faculties in such a way that he/she learns to accept and love new siblings and develop a healthy bond with them which is good for both for them.
    5. Few people in Indian society still don't accept re-marriages and divorces. So getting the society to accept your relationship is very difficult. Probably, among the rich and the affluent section, this practice is accepted but among the middle class and below, re-marriages, especially of women are next to impossible to accept. As an adult, you should be strong enough to look after your personal well-being through your own choices.
    6. Another issue is how to contribute your finances among your children. It is needless to say that your child from previous marriage is very much your responsibility. Of course, after re-marriage, both the adults might want to share their financial responsibility with their current life partner and towards his/her kids. However, it does not mean that you escape from providing finances to yours and your ex-spouse's child. These discussions should be held with your partner beforehand.
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