NO MORE CALLING MOTHER - SCIENTISTS ARE CONSPIRING TO MAKE BABIES FROM CELLS.

Babies have been trying for some time now to get made outside wombs. Ask any foetus, so down-market really to be handmade when designer is the way to go. If what scientists are psssting about comes true, then skin cells get you your bundle of joy. You can place an order and go about your business while your body is getting made, without getting your hands - or any other parts - dirty. Just hum Justin Bieber's baby-baby for a bit and you get to hold a baby if not Justin at the end of it. Women can be bypassed totally if this method catches on, even those women who were playing 'wives' to other women as surrogates. Whew, say women. Who can finally throw away the mummy mask and admit they had gone with the whole thing only because it wouldn't have looked good if the human race had to end because they said no. They didn't want that on their heads on top of the stretch-marks.
Now that navel-less people are going to reproduce in hygienic labs, women will get to, like men, finally watch with pride as someone else or soemthing - person or test tube - carries their offspring and ask solicitously now and then, 'Feeling nauseous?'
'Mere pass maa hai' will be replaced with 'Mere pass cell hai'. Future generations will cry out 'Cell!' not 'Mommy!', when they slip and fall. Technically, no one to call a 'bastard' any more, sigh. Dharmendra can't exhort only those baddies who have drunk their mothers' milk to fight with him because that would be zero. The legendary threat, 'Mai aapke bachche ki maa banne waali hoon', won't carry any pathos either, since no one will have a mother, not just Oliver Twist.
No woman, or man, will be barefoot and pregnant, craving pickles or ice-cream or pickles on ice-cream. The entire industry that revolves around the selfless, martyr, saintly, always giving, sacrificial images of motherhood will have to shut shop. Instead they will call urgent meetings on, 'What do we do with this new word, cell?' Hallmark will persuade us to celebrate 'Cell Days'. The hard sell of cell will be upon us.
No more guilt because you forgot to call your mother! Mother Earth will have to change her name officially to Cell Earth. The mother of all inventions will be the cell of all inventions. Shrinks will examine your lab reports as they cannot blame your mom for your messed up life anymore.
If this goes on then evolution will delete uteruses from female bodies; breasts will follow suit, as they are chiefly there as nourishment for infants and not to rock bikinis. Porn will look pretty different from what it does now. And so on and so forth. 'Then what, then what?' you ask. No man, no woman, no mankind, only cellkind.
[Based on article written by Shinie Antony, a novelist, published in The Times of India dated 15th September, 2016 (Thursday)].
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